A big baked potato

For years I have been in the process of writing a New York Times best-selling book titled “The Baked Potato Theory of Life”.   It tells the story of why I don’t eat baked potatoes and takes into account the many complicated aspects of life’s little battles.  Because it is all about choosing your battles.

This is why I don’t eat baked potatoes: they are just way too much work.  Are all the steps involved in getting a baked potato ready to eat really worth the reward?  First you have to scrub it clean.  Do you use tin foil or not?  Do you poke it with a fork or not.  Decisions lead to stress, stress leads to….fill in the blank.  Then there is the baking process which takes at least an hour.  Microwave you say?  That would be a no, I don’t know why, just no.  After baking, it’s a hot “hot potato” so you have to wait for it to cool.  But if you wait too long and it cools too much, the butter won’t melt.  These details are significant.  Given that the cooling time has been appropriate, it’s time to dress it, style it if you will.

If you chose to use tinfoil, do you cut with the tin foil on or off.  I say off, but it depends on your cooling technique.  Butter and sour cream?  Yes, both, hello.  Salt and pepper for sure.  But the whole salt thing is tricky given your sprinkling technique.  Sprinkling salt on the top  does not ensure the salt goes throughout the potato to include the bottom.  Nothing worse than a bite of unsalted potato. Green onions?  Cheese?  Chili?  Broccoli?  Way too many choices, way too many decisions.  By the time you get through all of the above, it’s usually cold and such a let down.  French fries or hash browns are a much better option for obvious reasons.

So that is just a synopses of Chapter One of the book.  The actual book has way more detail. Imagine that.

Chapter Two:  Why I drink my coffee black.  Don’t get me started on what it would be like to make certain you have sugar, cream, Kaluha, Baileys.  And a stirring spoon.

Chapter Three:  Eating crab that comes to you in the shell.  Seriously?

Chapter Four:  Why I drink Scotch and water…or straight Scotch.  You get the idea.

Chapter Five through 15:  Still in progress, can’t give the whole book away.  A plethora of  battles from which to choose.

It boils down to simplifying my life, or at least taking away that which complicates it.  However, I wrestle with that fine line between simplifying and plain laziness.  I guess it is about priorities, what I value, and what amount of time and effort I am willing to put into what is of value.  Of course it’s all relative, what is “simplifying” to me isn’t necessarily simple to someone else.  One woman’s baked potato is another woman’s reason to get up in the morning.

Perhaps I have shared too much about myself for a first blog post?  Nah.  Can’t wait to create a blog about vulnerability.